10 Ways to Market Yourself to Women
Submitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010- Listening vs. talking.
- The skinny on etiquette.
- Being yourself while acting sharp.
A large number of SharpMen have written us to say that they know they can be great to women, but they don’t know how to communicate this to the SharpWomen they meet. So, we heard you and offer up these SharpDating tips:
One: Be Considerate. You don’t have to cut her meat at dinner or offer to do her windows, but do realize that you are trying to get to know another person and part of that process is made easier by simply asking, "What kind of food do you like?" "Where do you like to eat in your neighborhood?" "How do you like to spend a Sunday afternoon?" Not only are you showing consideration with these questions, you are getting to know her and sending the message that you think enough of her to bother asking. Consideration is one of those magic things to women. For many women, consideration = romance.
Two: Show Good Manners. This doesn’t mean you have to show what you learned at cotillion or write a love letter with a plumed pen; it simply means that you don’t drool in your soup or lean in too close to it, use the right spoon (or a spoon), and drop a quick thank you note after the date, even if it’s via e-mail, given your busy SharpMan schedule.
When it comes to flowers, we think they show you care (see Tip One), but careful not to use it as an easy way to do so. Sure, flowers require time to order, but women know when an assistant wrote the card. Instead of flowers, personalize your gift by getting her a book she mentioned or something that related to one of her interests. This says, "I listened."
In general, the extent to which you show your good manners is up to you. If, at dinner, you choose to rise every time she gets up to use the ladies’ room, that’s up to you. (Just don’t leave the restaurant and realize you’ve left her in the ladies’ room.) Helping her on and off with her coat is nice, as is opening the door for her (even though it’s clear she can do it herself). We know that men aren’t sure if women want them to do this anymore, but trust us: it’s not required, but earns a lot of bonus points.
Three: The "Zip" Factor. In keeping with your personality, do something outrageous and memorable that will really get her attention. Not only will it show that you have a humorous side (something SharpWomen love), but it also shows her that you’re comfortable with yourself. It can be simple: Put your hat on backwards, pick up your date in a rented moving van and act nonchalant (not necessarily for the first date, by the way). One staffer here at SharpMan had that happen to her on a recent first date — it worked and really broke the ice. When her date stepped up to offer the door, she thought he was joking, as the truck looked like a block-long Safeway delivery truck. Then he and the truck took her to a posh French restaurant. He valet-parked the truck as though it was something he did every day. She joked about it with the restaurant owner and by the night’s end, everyone at the restaurant came out to see the now infamous truck. Later, he offered to take her out in his "real" car and she said, "Forget it. I like the truck."
Four: Be Sincere. This sounds small, but it’s a huge plus with women. Sincerity is what television advertisers rely on to sell their products. It’s what everyone appreciates. Sincere compliments are received without skepticism or doubt. They are embraced. Every human being needs a compliment or two to feel good about themselves now and again, but there’s nothing worse than a false or forced compliment. Make it real.
Five: Be Yourself. If you’re an introvert, be an introvert. If you’re an extrovert, be an extrovert. The right SharpWoman will recognize what they are looking for if you give them the true you.
Six: Marketing 101. The step most of us forget could be the one that takes you to the doorstep of your dream date. Let people know you’re available. Hiding under the discomfort of a divorce or bad breakup, single men can go for years without ever telling anybody that they want to date. See Blind Dating 101. You need to be active in shaping your future. Join a singles’ group, attend a worship service, and here’s the best tip: volunteer. The world loves volunteers. It shows you have heart. Even if you volunteer at a nearby nursing home, for example, you might meet a dear couple who have a dazzling granddaughter. All of us need time to recover from a divorce or breakup, but after a reasonable amount of time has passed, it’s time get on with it, which is probably why you are reading this article. See SharpDating for the Newly Single.
Seven: Interact. Interact with people you wouldn’t ordinarily interact with. Talk to your neighbors, go to community parties. You may find the perfect SharpWoman living right around the corner or on the next floor. If you see someone with potential, do more than hold the elevator. Offer to carry her groceries or move a heavy piece of furniture. Now you’ve combined several steps into one and she can’t help but say "yes" when you ask for her number.
Eight: Lose the Ego. SharpWomen are turned on by real men. If you’re a gourmet cook, but can’t clean worth beans, be honest about that. Don’t try to make your date think you can do it all. She won’t buy it anyway, even if it’s the truth. Don’t tell her you speak 13 languages; let her discover your talents in a natural way. Every time you hear yourself say "I" stop and think about it. Using "I" and "me" to get to know someone is fine; just don’t turn the whole conversation into "All About Me." SharpWomen like to be listened to. Plus, if you come off as an egotistic bore, you won’t be getting that much-desired second date!
Nine: State Your Objective. It’s not necessary to reveal from the outset that you are looking for Mrs. Right and oh-by-the-way, the-wedding-will-be-12-months-from-today, but do be honest about where you are and where you want to go in life. Tell her you have a child from another marriage. Tell her that you’ve been married before, or were in a long-term relationship. Tell her that you’d like to get married eventually, start a family, or that you never want to get married and start a family. Tell her that you expect to make partner by next year and will be working long hours to make that happen. Just don’t say anything that sounds like a proposal until you’re sure that she is your SharpWoman. You don’t want to lead anyone on or lock yourself into something that turns out to be wrong for you.
Ten: Good Grooming and Dress. See our SharpGrooming archive. Read it and memorize it, for you will be tested. Because humans are naturally visually oriented, nothing markets you better than the image you present (think of the way you first notice women…). With a glance, a woman is going to size up whether you are someone who fits what she might be looking for. Always make an effort to look Sharp. It’s part of a SharpMan’s daily routine. Make good grooming and dress a habit. Show your male plumage and use it to set yourself apart from all the other guys around you.
So there you have your ten steps to surefire success. Happy dating. Please invite us to the wedding.
This article last updated on Thursday 14th October 2010