Dating and Caller I.D.
Submitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010- Caller I.D. and dating.
- Ways around it.
- What’s next?
The advent of caller I.D. has been to dating intelligence what the inception of radar and sonar were to military intelligence a half-century ago. For the military, radar and sonar meant the end of sneak attacks, ambushes, and spy plane missions. For SharpMen everywhere, the availability of caller I.D. has revolutionized the way we call women.
Gone are the days of anonymous, drunken late-night phone calls to your love interest of the month. Gone is the ever-so-popular "call and hang up" to any woman who has dumped you or shot you down. And, of course, gone are the repetitive calls designed to establish that the woman who’s blowing you off is, in fact, just "really busy lately."
Damn! Those were the days!
To prepare yourself for SharpDating in this bold new era of telephone strategy, check out these tips for dealing with caller I.D.:
"B.C."
It wasn’t as if making the phone call "B.C." ("Before Caller I.D.") was an easy thing to do: SharpMen still had the pressure of actually talking to the woman on the other end of the line. Then there were the hassles of practicing your "hello," going over your material and honing the delivery.
But there were a few luxuries and safeguards. For example, before caller I.D., a SharpMan could dial the number, let it ring and even stay on the line long enough for her to say "hello" a couple of times. And then, if he didn’t like the vibe, wasn’t ready, or forgot his lines, he could just hang up! After all, he could always call back later and she’d never be the wiser! It was like getting the opportunity to do another "take" when filming a T.V. show.
The Phone Call, Take One and Only One
Unfortunately, caller I.D. has taken calling women from being a "taped before a studio audience" to a live broadcast. Now, once you hear the first ring, there’s no turning back. No "cuts" and no retakes.
What to do?
You’ll simply have to develop new rules of operation, that’s all. Stick to the following SharpDating caller I.D. strategies for best results:
Fear the I.D.! The thing about caller I.D. is that you never know who has it. For this reason, your best play is to always assume that every woman has it.
So, what does this mean? This means pretty much a one-shot — twice at the most — opportunity to put it in the end zone. Think of every phone call to the woman of your fancy as third or fourth down. Plan your calls carefully; never dial when you don’t intend to speak; and never, ever do the heavy-breathing thing (unless invited to do so). Unfortunately, the world’s just not a safe place, anymore.
It also means that you no longer have the luxury of calling every 15 minutes to see if she’s home so you can ask her out. Because now if she doesn’t answer and doesn’t return your calls, the brutal truth may be that she’s avoiding you — and is likely frightened by the 17 burned-into-time-and-space instances that you’ve called over the past three hours.
Go into stealth mode. Military geniuses did not give up when radar was added to the equation. Instead, they re-instituted invisibility by developing the stealth plane. The same applies to caller I.D. As a SharpMan, there is no reason for you to simply accept what appears to be a female advantage in the realm of dating espionage. It’s time to take matters into our own hands…
For a nominal monthly fee, most SharpMen can have their phone numbers listed as "private," thereby blocking the powers of caller I.D. Most phone service providers also give you the option of dialing *67 (star-six-seven) before dialing the number for your outgoing call, rendering the powers of caller I.D. useless on an on-demand basis. Both of these services disable caller I.D. and indicate an "unavailable or private number" or "blocked call" on the caller I.D. display.
However, realize that most caller I.D. junkies generally make note of who they know with a "private number," and may well link a string of anonymous crank calls to your "private number." For this reason, the SharpMan Teamfavors using caller I.D. blocks that are "on-demand" (the *67 option). This way, when you choose to go into freak-mode and redial your SharpWoman over and over again, you’re protected. Then, when you know she’s home and you’re ready to call her as "Normal Guy," you simply let your number show, and she’ll be less likely to make the connection! (Evil laugh) Ha! Ha! Ha!
What the heck is next?
Who knows? Maybe, years from now a female inventor will figure out a way for women to see men’s thoughts — like in those thought bubbles above cartoon characters’ heads. But fear not, SharpMen. Even if that day comes — though I pray it doesn’t — you’ll know where to find Sharp advice to overcome it.
This article last updated on Thursday 14th October 2010