Easy Points Two: What NOT to Do On a DateSubmitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010
- Easy date conversation.
- Easy ways to make her find you interesting.
- Easy tips for laying the groundwork for date number two.
Early dating is all about ticking off the easy points — those no-brainers that get you to date number two and beyond. See the first installment in Easy Points: Ten Things No SharpMan Should Ever Do At the Start of a Date. In this continuing series on knocking off the "Dos" and avoiding the "Don’ts," SharpMan brings you the next round of easy tips for your time on the date:
- Do turn off your mobile phone. We know, we know, you’re a popular guy and she should know it. Unfortunately, a ringing phone is a sure way to break a mood you’ve been working hard to establish. Taking a social call on a first date is just stupid. If you must have your phone on, keep it on silent and explain that work requires you to glance over to at the incoming numbers. Apologize every time you do it. Alternatively, keep the phone off and check your voicemail in the restroom.
- Don’t "I, I, I," or "me, me, me" her to pieces. In fact, you don’t need to tell her any stories about yourself — at this point. If you do, you risk unknowingly offending her (who knew that great Bar B Q story would offend a life-long vegetarian?) and you’ll have no ammo for later, when she asks you to "talk." Instead, focus on her. People respond freakishly well to those who encourage them to speak about themselves. More often than not, the storyteller will come away from a conversation in which only she spoke, thinking, "wow, what a great conversationalist he was!" Go figure. So use this to your advantage. Avoid conversational land mines while you impress her with your (silent) communication skills. Let her tell the stories, and she’ll be more likely to come away thinking you’re the interesting one.
- Do keep her talking. Once you’ve got her talking about herself, play on, player. Ask follow-up questions that show you’re listening. Again, your whole aim is to keep her entertained enough to get to date number two. Plus, when she’s doing the talking, you’ll be more likely to discern whether she’s a psycho more worthy of second base, than a second date…
- Don’t brag, hot-stuff. If she does ask about you, hold back. If you drive a Porsche or are wearing a $4,000 suit, chill on the details. Be modest. No one cares. And you’ll sound like a jackass. And if she does care, it’s because she’s the wrong kind of girl.
- Don’t talk about your ex or your mom. This is a date, not a group therapy session. And don’t encourage her to do so. It’s a turn-off. If she asks, say only brief, positive things, like "she’s a great girl" or "my mom’s great." Done.
- Don’t talk about religion or politics. First dates are about casual chit-chat, not heated debate. The fact is that most people are likely to disagree about God and state — so why take the chance that you’ll piss her off? Unless your professional life is devoted to one of these and her failure to agree with your stance is a deal-killer, leave these topics to dates five on.
- Do use proper table manners. SharpWomen dig romance. Eating with your hands, belching at the table and ordering around the server are not romantic. ‘Nuff said. Feel you need a brush up? Ask a female friend to give you a brush up on the use of a knife and folk. The ladies do notice.
- Do pay. Without exception. Even if she makes more money than you do. Even if she spends a good half an hour explaining her strong position on women’s issues. If you invited her out, then you follow through as her host and pay for her meal. Period. And no splitting. No guy gets points for going dutch — you might as well have her pay for your meal.
- Do tip well. It’s a small amount of money and — let’s face it — women notice.
- Don’t be too quick to put on the moves…yet. Bedpost-notching aside, when you’re on a date with a SharpWoman you like, feel free to hold your horses on the first date romance moves. She’s expecting you to try something. When you refrain, she’ll be intrigued and you’ll have a lock on a little somethin’, somethin’ for date number two.