Married and Dating

Dear J & J: I’m married but things aren’t the greatest at home. I find that the sex department sucks and I’d like to look around — got any advice for meeting ladies when there’s one at home?

No Name or Address Given

JILL: You have a sticky problem in the women-attraction department. You're already married.

Forget the moral implications of this, etc. — that's not what is about, anyway. Our point relates to your mental and physical health, and the women your situation is likely to attract:

Unless you're looking for women who are so emotionally dysfunction that they can't maintain relationships with guys who are available (which we wouldn't recommend), ladies are going to be less likely to want to hook up with someone who already has a family. Although inconvenient, that's genetic programming for you.

Moreover, the logistics of juggling a wife and a mistress are a nightmare (remember, those Woody Allen movie plots aren’t made up out of whole cloth). The amount of lying required to maintain these situations often leads to serious guilt and sometime even sexual dysfunction.

This is why many men who seek extra-marital companionship often complain that they are worse off than when they began. Be aware of this before you proceed. The repercussions are serious for your mental and sexual heath, my friend.

Take a look at your wife. There must have been SOME reason you married her. Find that reason and get to know it again. Become obsessed with recapturing the romance you used to feel. We guarantee, having gotten this back — even if you can't imagine getting back there now — you'll be happier and feel like more of a stud than ever before.

JACK: Sure, we'd like to feature articles on how men can expand their social horizons while married, but the thousands (and I kid you not) of e-mails that we get with complaints about the disastrous results (and we're just talking about guys who don’t get caught, here) prevent us from doing so in good faith.



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