Walking the Walk

Dear J & J: I’ve gone out with this great woman three times. I haven’t wanted to seem too pushy, so I haven’t make any efforts to steer our conversations to our respective sexual likes and dislikes. I don’t want to scare her off, but on the other and, I don’t want to spend a lot of time with her and then discover that we are not compatible in the bedroom. When is the appropriate time to bring this up?

J.W.
No Address Given

JACK: Never, ever, talk about it before you do it. Talking about the gory details of intimacy beforehand strips your fledgling relationship of the mystique necessary for an intense encounter. You need some buildup, brother! This goes for both SharpWomen and SharpMen: forget the talk, do the walk — when appropriate.

JILL: Even though many people believe in this form of "establishing" intimacy, we think it’s a loser. Often talking about the details of sexual preferences is more intimate than the act itself. If you don’t believe you’re ready to do it, save the talking. Besides, what if your "pitch" doesn’t match your performance? Better leave it to her imagination.

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