(Lucky) Seven Ways to Know if She's Worth Pursuing

Submitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010
In this article
  • How does she treat you?
  • Watching how she treats others.
  • Can it work if she wants you to change?

Think you’ve met someone great? Want to know whether to pursue? Check out these seven SharpDating tips to see if she’s right for you:

One. She’s focused on you. Her attention is not distracted by an ex-boyfriend, a male friend whom she has a crush on, etc. In other words, she doesn’t regard you as "second place guy," and seems to want to get to know you as much (or something like that) as you want to get to know here. To test this, consider whether she spends her time getting to know you, or talking to you about her feelings for other guys.

Two. For the most part, she likes you just the way you are. A SharpWoman doesn’t try to control you right off the bat. Sure, she may suggest that typical girlfriend "makeover" — a new sweater or replacing tattered shoes with new ones, but she’s not critical of every aspect of the way you live or of every friend that you have. To test this, try to recall her compliments and criticisms; how does her ratio fare?

Three. She’s "game." She’s willing to move your furniture. She wants to meet your friends as much as you want to meet hers. She’s willing to try on snowshoes even if she grew up in a desert. Willingness says a lot. So does intention (she really wants to hit the slopes, but can’t get off work). You appreciate the thought, right? To test this, suggest an unconventional activity and observe her response.

Four. She engages all your senses — touch, taste, hear, smell, and sight. Although you may feel a bit sheepish doing it, you can test this one with your imagination alone. Does the thought of her smile make you smile? How about songs on the radio — does your mind wander to her?

Five. You like the way she handles things. You like the way she sees the world. Her thoughts actually interest you. To test this, engage her in a conversation that goes beyond small talk — ask her about food, what she does for the holidays, space travel — whatever. Pay attention and observe without judgment. You are collecting data.

Six. You like the way she treats other people. Is she kind to strangers? Waiters? Animals? The way she engages others — either respectfully or with derision — says a lot about how she may treat you when the road gets a bit bumpy. To test this, take her to a restaurant known for slow service, or a coffee house famous for lines. Her attitude may speak volumes.

Seven. She lets you do your own thing. Whether it’s hanging out with the guys, catching a game with your coworkers or simply doing some solo T.V. watching after a long day or week, the SharpWoman you want won’t give you a hard time about spending time doing things without her — activities that are valuable to your lifestyle, even if they are not "value-building." After all, being "together" doesn’t necessarily mean being together all the time — every SharpMan needs his work time, his guy time and his solo time. This tip takes more than one or two occurrences for a legitimate test. For example, the first time you have plans with your buddies and she wants to come along — that may simply be a product of a new, exciting time in your relationship. If she persists in making you uncomfortable every time you’d like to engage in an activity that does not include her, however, consider whether you would be comfortable with this on a permanent basis.

This article last updated on Thursday 14th October 2010
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