Office Party Etiquette
Submitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Sunday 10th October 2010- Before you go.
- Upon your arrival.
- Circulating the room.
- Leaving gracefully.
With the holiday season approaching, most SharpMen will soon be heading out to one or more holiday office parties. Beware: don't be fooled by the music, chatter and abundance of food and drink. This is no ordinary party where you can eat, drink, be merry and generally make a fool of yourself. Despite the jovial atmosphere, your (or your date’s) office party is just another business function — and unfortunately requires you to conduct yourself as such.
Our advice? Maintain your professional reputation and leave the real partying until later. Check out this SharpWork guide to office party etiquette for more info:
Before You Go
Go. First, make the decision to go. Although office parties are not mandatory, it’s generally considered "bad form" to skip a party that your boss is likely paying for. Rather than dreading the event, redefine it as a networking opportunity. Opportunity? That’s right: because most office parties are office-wide events, the holiday party is your opportunity to hobnob with upper management at best, or ingratiate to all-powerful support staff at worst (check out SharpWork’s must-read Dealing With Support Staff for more information).
If you know you’ll be meeting colleagues from out of town, find out a little about their state or city in order to have a handy topic of conversation. You'll be glad you did, as small talk can be a chore. (For more help in this area, re-read SharpMan Charm School: How to be Charming, Networking 101: "Working" a Networking Event and Networking 101: How to Remember Names.)
Prepare yourself and your date. Second, confirm the dress code. If it’s a formal party, make sure you are dressed accordingly. If you plan to bring a date, take a second to consider the kind of image you want to present. Ask you wife or girlfriend to dress in accordance with this image. Most management consultants advise that women — even dates — should not dress too provocatively.
If you don’t have a steady SharpWoman but would like to bring a date, your "image" decision is much more important. Since (presumably) you have the ability to choose between several options, choose well. The office party is not the time to escort that hot, hot, hot woman who you claim "not to be serious about." Choose a companion who looks good, but also makes you look like a good, serious member of the team. (As a general rule, management consultants indicate that so-called "playboys" do not inspire the label "serious member of the team.") Additionally, try to find a date who is friendly and outgoing, and who is willing to "get on your team" for the evening. If she’s not willing to play along with the idea that (a) you are a great guy and (b) she is really fond of you (not necessarily in a romantic way), then you may be better off going alone.
If you do bring a date — your SharpWoman or a friend — it’s a good idea to prep her on the people she’s likely to meet and any topics of conversation that may be awkward or inappropriate — just in case.
Confirm. Finally, find out exactly what is expected of you. Confirm where the party is to be held, get good directions and double-check the start time. Arriving on time will reflect well on you. If your office party requires you to produce a "Secret Santa" gift (real or "gag") or a small gift for a charitable organization, determine the cost range required and come prepared.
Upon Arrival
Greeting the boss. Arrive on time and immediately seek out and greet your boss. Thank him or her for facilitating the event (even if it wasn’t your boss’s dime), exchange some pleasantries and move away. Now that task is out of the way.
Beeline to the bar. Hold off on going to the bar for a little while. Chat with some colleagues and gradually make your way there without apparent haste. It will not reflect well if you look as if you can't wait to get a drink in your hand. Act confident enough to chat without the drink crutch.
In fact, as a general rule, consider that your office party is not the ideal opportunity to indulge in "comped" booze. After all, this won’t be your only opportunity to drink, right? Why not show strength in moderation, rather than risk making a fool of yourself with the boss’s toupee?
Beeline to the rubber chicken. Don't rush to the buffet, either. Wait until others have indulged and then help yourself. And remember that this is a not a contest to see how much you can fit on the plate. It's perfectly acceptable to go for seconds, but it looks greedy if you pile too much on your plate. Many management consultants advise clients to eat before an event where they will be interacting with people. That way, you’ll taste some of the food without constantly pausing conversation in order to chew or gasp for air.
Glad-handing. At all times, keep your right hand clean and free of food. When you are introduced to people, you'll want to shake their hands — having food on your fingers will not make a great impression. Make a point of handling food and drink with your left hand (or the hand that you don’t shake with if you are a lefty) and you'll be free to make firm handshakes all night.
Circulating Around the Room
The office party is your perfect opportunity to meet colleagues who may help you with a project during the year, or advance your career in the future.
So forget about standing in a corner or talking to a few work mates and then leaving. This will do nothing for your career, making the night a chore and a missed opportunity. Instead, be sociable and outgoing.
Meet and greet. Mingle with everyone and orchestrate introductions between people you know. Introduce yourself or asked to be introduced to those you don’t know. When you meet someone, shake hands firmly and listen carefully to his or her name. Engage them in pleasant, light conversation for a few minutes, pass on your business card, if appropriate, and move on. Why? Let’s face it: no one wants to be monopolized by one person all night. You'll leave a better impression if you know when to stop talking.
Dealing with the big guns. If you meet and converse with upper management, identify your role and your enthusiasm about the company. Be positive but don’t be a butt-kisser — that’s boring.
Use proper party protocol. In all of your interactions, be positive. This is not the time to express employee grumbles. Also, make an effort to express an interest in the person you’re speaking to. Comment positively on a hobby, residential area or recent achievement.
Don’t try to be the "life of the party." Most people frown on this behavior and regard it as "trying to steal the limelight." Instead, aim to be a confident, pleasant and relaxed conversationalist.
Seek out the old. Done meeting new faces? Don’t restrict your mingling to those you don't know. The office party is also an opportunity to acknowledge and thank those who have worked with you all year — you may need them again in the new year.
Treat everyone equally. The middle management person you are speaking to now may be your boss in six months. If you've dismissed this person at the office party, he or she may remember you as condescending or snobbish.
Be a host. If you’ve brought clients or visiting colleagues to the party, you have the additional responsibility of playing host. Don’t neglect it. Make sure your guests have enough food and drink; introduce them around. Never leave your guests standing on their own. Use the opportunity to ingratiate yourself to them. They’ll appreciate the attentiveness.
Dealing with trouble. Occasionally, you may find yourself in the embarrassing situation of having to deal with amorous overtures from a female colleague who has had too much to drink. This is the best reason to stay sober. Stay calm and reasonable. Treat the situation with good humor and be pleasant. Do not embarrass the lady by making jokes about her condition — this will ensure that you are seen as a jerk.
Offer to call a taxi for your colleague, but do not take her home yourself. If you do, everyone will presume you stayed the night. Of course, no matter how tempting, you should not take advantage of her inebriated state. Apart from the issue of regretting it later (and possible criminal implications, depending on her state), the situation is likely to lead to all sorts of problems in the workplace.
If the inebriated female colleague looks as if she will not make it home if left unaccompanied, discreetly enlist the help of another person — your date or a dateless female coworker — to ensure that your colleague gets home safely.
Leaving Gracefully
There is no rule that says you have to stay for the entire party. Diehard partiers are rarely respected. In fact, the art of leaving gracefully is a social skill worth working on.
Leave only after you have talked to everyone you should and make sure you thank your boss for a great party — even if it was a cheap saltine cracker affair.
If you had a partner when you arrived, leave with the same partner. There's nothing as tacky as dumping your guest in favor of some other woman at the function.
Gracefully exiting in a sober state, having made a good impression on everyone you talked to, is the best you can hope for at the office party. You can always reward yourself for a job well done by going to a real party afterwards.
This article last updated on Sunday 10th October 2010