Picking Good Date Restaurants
Submitted by krisna on Saturday 27th November 2010- Selecting a style.
- The casual date.
- Romantic dining.
Ever agonize over which restaurant to visit with your SharpWoman? Having trouble picking that special restaurant for your anniversary? Or worse yet, wondering where should you take someone on your first date? Check out these SharpDating tips for when to go where and how to pick the best restaurants that meet your expectations:
Who Picks?
Generally speaking, most women would prefer not to pick the restaurant for the first couple of dates. Asking whether she likes Indian food is acceptable; asking where she would like to go for your first date just isn’t a good idea. After all, you asked her out. You’re the host, so show that you’ve put some thought into your invitation.
On the other hand, not soliciting a specific restaurant preference from someone you’ve gone out with several times is also a mistake. Women like to feel that they have some say in what you do as a couple. But when you ask for her preference, always have a few suggestions in mind, just in case she doesn’t feel like deciding.
Drawing the Line
How do you begin your search for the perfect date restaurant? How do you separate one choice from another? Think of restaurants as points on a line between comfortable and impressive. Most restaurants fall closer to one end or the other. Determine the kind of evening you want.
First dates. If it is a first date, stay away from impressive restaurants. The point of a first date is to get to know someone. It is important to make your date feel at ease. Adding the glitz and glimmer of an upscale dinner club to the normal anxiety of a first date is never in your best interest. Besides, if you go all out on the first date, what can you do for the second? Start with a more casual atmosphere: some place that is quiet enough to talk but busy enough to keep lulls in conversation from turning into deadly silences.
SharpMan Tip: Worried that a more "comfortable" venue isn’t enough to impress her? Consider this: if your date’s the type to decline a second date because you failed to take her to Chez-Big-Money-of-the-Moment, she may not be worth a second meal.
Anniversaries and special occasions. Anniversaries, on the other hand, are all about razzle-dazzle. Still, upscale restaurants range from quiet elegance to energetic glamour. Pick the restaurant to reflect the mood you’re after.
No matter where you choose to go, be sure to let your date know the appropriate attire. Surprises are wonderful, but all the points you earn from taking her for a night on the town will be wiped out if she feels underdressed and uncomfortable. It goes without saying to check your own attire. Borrowing a jacket from the maitre d’ never looks sharp.
Casual Dining
Whether it’s a first date or a quick bite before a movie, casual is often the way to go. How do you pick a casual place that’s also good for a date?
Food is all-important. In a casual restaurant, the décor can be fun and the service can be good, but let’s face it, we’re not talking about candlelight and four-star waiters here. Wherever you find yourself, be it a festive ethnic restaurant or the local burger joint, the surest way to impress in this type of restaurant is with the food. It doesn’t have to be fancy or creative, just good.
We strongly advise against using dates as opportunities to try new casual restaurants. Start off with the tried and true. You can be more adventurous later, when you’re both more comfortable with each other. If the food is inedible on the first date, that’s a strike against you that you simply don’t need. After a couple of months, the same situation might be funny.
Atmosphere. Even though food is the most important aspect, be sure to check out the atmosphere. A casual restaurant doesn’t have to be quiet, but you should be able to hear each other when you talk. It’s also nice if the décor is entertaining, so you’ll have something to talk about at an awkward moment.
Buffets. Unless you’ve been dating for a while, steer clear of buffets. Mounds of food piled on your plate isn’t impressive, and going back and forth from the buffet isn’t conducive to conversation.
Bar. Likewise, your favorite local bar is not a wise choice. As a general dating rule, steer clear of places where you know a lot of people. When you’ve just started dating someone, going out is about being with and getting to know her. Should she be lucky enough to win you over, there will be plenty of time for her to meet your friends and have a drink at your favorite bar.
A Night on the Town
No special occasion is required for a romantic dinner. Though the quality of the food is still important, atmosphere and décor rank higher for this type of occasion. Candles on the table, a quiet room with soft music and extraordinary desserts are essential elements for a romantic dinner. French and Italian restaurants are the traditional choice, but romantic sushi restaurants do exist.
The type of restaurant you pick will depend on your taste and what you think your date will enjoy. Because a "Night on the Town" date often means a greater monetary investment, we suggest researching rather than leaving a potentially expensive meal up to chance.
Research the place. Often, you may not have eaten at the restaurant before you take a date there. Ask friends for recommendations. It’s not a bad idea to stop by for a drink some night before you go. That way you can look at the menu, see what the restaurant looks like and how quiet it is during dinner service.
Research the price. Sticker shock is not romantic. A visit to the restaurant of choice prior to your date also gives you an opportunity to casually check out the menu prices. While the "Night on the Town" date is likely to be more expensive than a more casual outing, it need not break the bank. Think about how much you want to spend and then make sure the menu suits your budget (don’t forget to add wine (if you drink it) and tip in your calculations).
Many romantic spots are surprisingly affordable. Check out Navigating the Wine List for tips on confidently picking wine based on your tastes and budget, even if you know nothing about wine.
Research your table. For those who insist on the perfect evening, visiting your restaurant of choice will also give you a good opportunity to scope out the "perfect" table. Make note of its location and request this table when making your reservation.
SharpMan Tip: If you’re new in town, your friends know nothing of restaurants or you’re really at a loss for ideas, this one rarely fails: try a fondue restaurant. In France fondue bars are often very casual, but in America the idea has a definite romantic twist. The atmosphere tends to be nice, often with private booths rather than tables, and most of the dishes are served for two.
What’s fondue? It’s usually a warm sauce served in a small (fondue) pot, heated by a flame underneath it. The fondue "stuff" is often made of cheese, broth or flavored oil, though chocolate fondue for dessert is also classic. Meats, vegetables and breads are served with the fondue; diners attach their choice to skewers and dip the bread, meat or vegetable in the sauce. Sharing the same food, cooking over a small flame at your table, possibly even feeding each other, are all very charming to most people (OK, most SharpWomen). And don’t forget the strawberries for dipping into the chocolate fondue…
Putting on the Ritz
Once in a blue moon, you may feel the need to go all out for an occasion. Whether it’s a birthday, anniversary, new job or an engagement, this kind of evening takes planning. The restaurant must be chosen carefully and many exclusive restaurants require reservations several weeks in advance.
Finding the perfect place. Chances are, this will be your first time eating at the restaurant you choose. Recommendations are helpful, as are reviews. Most newspapers publish reviews at least once a week. The Zagat restaurant guides are particularly helpful and can be found online at www.zagat.com. Zagat’s reviews usually rate food, service, and décor. All three are very important. Pay attention to these details. A restaurant may have great ratings, but that doesn’t mean it is suitable for a quiet, intimate evening.
Checking the "perfect" place. Try to stop by to see the restaurant’s interior before you bring your date.
Making sure your evening goes as planned. Under "A Night on the Town" we recommended requesting a certain table for your dinner. This detail is particularly important when your evening is important. Don’t leave your perfect table up to chance. Request your preference when you make your reservation.
Also, inform the restaurant that it is a special occasion when making the reservation. You’ll find that the staff is likely to be more amenable to special arrangements if you let them in on your excitement.
Selecting a bottle of champagne to have waiting on your table is a nice touch.
Finally, confirm the dress code. Many restaurants require a jacket, tie, or both.
Double-check. Often, upscale restaurants will need to confirm your reservation several days in advance. If your dinner is a surprise and you live or work with your SharpWoman, be sure to give an appropriately discreet phone number. They may also ask that you call to confirm. Either way, take the opportunity to remind the restaurant of your special occasion and special requests.
Final Thoughts on Choosing Restaurants
Go with what you like. Ultimately, you know what kind of restaurants you enjoy. Usually, some of your favorite restaurants will be appropriate for most dates. You may need to expand your horizons a bit for romantic spots, but you should never pick a place where you would be completely uncomfortable. Slightly nervous is OK, but the goal is to enjoy the company of your date. Pick a venue that allows you to feel relaxed enough to talk or laugh.
Keep dessert in your back pocket. Finally, it’s always good to have a few dessert destinations in the back of your mind. For example, if she chooses Japanese, a local sushi bar may not have a varied enough selection of desserts (although this is not true for all sushi bars). Suggesting that the two of you pop over to a French bistro two blocks over for crème brûlée will win you big points.
For more date planning tips, check out Forget Dinner and a Movie: Try a Museum Date, Great Dates and More Great Dates: Beyond Dinner and a Movie. After the first few dates, you will know what your companion enjoys. Follow her lead.
This article last updated on Saturday 27th November 2010