The SharpMan Guide to Being a Best Man
Submitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010- Your duty runs deep.
- Be prepared … with all the necessary gear.
- Remember: it’s her day.
Being a guy’s best friend is easy. Being a buddy means cashing in on perks like always having someone to hang out with on a Friday night when the dating scene is a little dry, and knowing you can always count on someone who will join you on a last-minute waterskiing weekend. But being a best man takes a little more effort. From the moment your buddy pops the question, until the last thank you card has been sent, here’s what a Best Man candidate should know:
Do Your Duty
Before. Throw a bachelor party. It’s a given and the first thing that comes to mind when you put a guy, his best friend and upcoming nuptials together. To make sure you think of everything, from the entertainment (and you know what that means) to munchies, check out BachelorPartyTips.com.
Just before. Beyond being the party planner, a big part of being the Best Man is living up to your title. This means showing up for the rehearsal dinner and the tux fittings. During the days leading up to the wedding, you’ll become the errand boy and go-to guy if anything has been forgotten or if something falls apart. Also, although it is not your duty to pick out the gifts, you may want to remind the groom to start thinking about getting his american bridal groomsmen gifts to thank his boys for being a part of his wedding.
You should also be ready and waiting for the big event on the day of the wedding. It's your job to get the groom ready, make sure he doesn’t forget anything (like shoes, breath mints, the rings or the marriage license) and keep him cool and under control.
During. Once the groom is in place and the procession has begun, it may be your duty to escort the maid of honor down the aisle — so be sure you find out how the procession is planned ahead of time. You would hate to be standing up front next to your buddy while an angry, single woman storms down the aisle alone.
After. Don’t think that after the "I Do’s" have been said your job is over. Be prepared to stand in the receiving line. (Receiving line is a custom that occurs after the ceremony, when the wedding party stands in a line to greet the guests as they enter the reception. ) Through it all, be pleasant and helpful. Dance with the (inevitably unappealing) maid of honor and bridesmaids and, of course, also ask the bride for a dance.
From the moment your best friend offers you the honor of Best Man at his wedding, to the day he flies off into the sunset with his blushing bride, you will be the fall guy, the wing man and sometimes, the go-fer. If there is no MC at the reception, that job falls to you. Announce the opening dance, the cutting of the cake and the tossing of the bouquet and garter. If the couple doesn’t have a driver to jet them from the church to the reception, put on your chauffer hat. Where there is a need, you are the man.
Once the cake has been cut and the birdseed has been thrown, it is your job to make sure the gifts get home. Resist the temptation to open them and see what the happy couple scored. It is also your job to return the groom’s formal wear after the wedding. After all, it would be a little difficult for the groom to return his tux when he’s sitting on a beach in the Bahamas, right?
The Best (Man’s) Sharp Gear
Besides all the things you have to do, there are several things you need to have. First and foremost, make sure the ring stays in your protective custody until the time when it should be placed on that long-awaiting finger. If the ceremony includes a ring bearer, make sure you tie the bling on the pillow at the last moment. Tie it on tight and keep an eye on the ring and the little rug rat carrying it until your buddy locks it in place for the long haul.
Arrange with the groom to have several checks made out to the officiator, organist and others who provide services throughout the day. And keep the handoff of money subtle — which will clearly be easier for you than for the groom.
Generally, the first toast at the reception falls to you (but may be usurped by the bride or groom’s parents, so step aside). Keep your toast simple and G-rated. With all of your strength, attempt to avoid "remember that time" stories. They are usually not nearly as funny to the bride as they are to you and your buddy. For a little help, check out TheBestManSpeech.com.
The supplies to send their car off in "Just Married" style are also your responsibility. You should supervise the decorating so no shoe polish ends up on the paint. Consider splurging on paints that are designed for harmlessly writing on auto paint and be creative. The cream from an Oreo sticks beautifully to a side mirror, soda cans make lots of noise clanging behind a moving car, and it doesn’t take that many balloons to fill up the interior of a car.
Ladies First
No matter what, remember that this day is about your best friend and the SharpWoman he chose (yes, even if she’s all wrong for him). Check with the bride to see if there’s any way you can be helpful beyond that which falls under the usual Best Man duties. Also, take into consideration her personality when planning the bachelor party. Don’t plan anything that might cause problems between the bride and groom if she later hears the play-by-play. If you don’t know the bride very well, you could get in touch with the maid of honor and find out what she is planning for the bachelorette party. If it is pretty tame, you may want to go the same route — or make every effort to keep your plans on the SUPER down-low. If she has a pretty wild evening planned, you can probably go all out too.
The bottom line: being a Best Man is a big job, so don’t go in unprepared. And if things get sticky, just remember, it is an honor, so take it as one.
This article last updated on Wednesday 1st February 2012