The SharpMan's Guide to Double DatesSubmitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010
- Should a first date be a double date?
- Dos and don’ts.
- Having a great time.
At some point in their lives everybody goes out on a double date, and now that spring is in the air, it could happen to you soon. Whether it’s a casual night with a group of friends, or a first date set up by your buddy’s fiancée, double dates can be a fun way to spend the evening out with a current or potential girlfriend, while still enjoying the companionship of those people you already feel comfortable around. Read on for the SharpDating pros, cons, dos and don'ts of double dates:
There are definite advantages to going on a double date, even if you think that bringing a girl around your friends and the women-insane-enough-to-date-them can lead to nothing more than a complete disaster. When it comes right down to it, no matter how weird or outrageous your friends may be, chances are that you’re more relaxed around them than you would be while out alone with a stranger. And, since most people have a hard time truly being themselves around people they don’t know well, having a buddy there with you on a first date may give you the advantage of showing her your better, more relaxed side.
Another advantage to having a first date as a double date: if there’s another SharpWoman along, she will likely make note of all of the small things that you do to mess the date up–things you may never realize are unappealing to women. This gives you the option of soliciting the second woman’s opinion as to how you could polish your act.
No matter how much you love hanging out with your buddies, no woman likes a crowd around all the time. If you choose the double date option too often, things are going to get old, and you’re never going to get to spend any public one-on-one time together. This will reflect on how well you get to know each other, and how much quality you assign to the time you spend with her.
How’s that? Even though there is a side of you that only comes out around your friends, chances are there’s another side that you would never let your friends see. Let’s call it your "Sensitive SharpMan" side — the part that women really respond to.
Also, if it’s a first date, then you might not want her around a group of your single male friends, because if you decide that you do like her, you might want to limit her options and make yourself seem more appealing, rather than thrusting her into a room full of available guys.
When on a double date, there are certain things that you should do to keep the night running smoothly. First, make a point of asking your date’s opinion about planned activities. Although you may be tempted to do what you and your buddy prefer, go out of your way to make the women feel as though they are the main focus of the date — because let’s face it, they kinda are. After all, when would you and your guy friends go to a romantic restaurant together when you could get a burger, instead? This extends to your conversation, as well. Sure, you may not know her, or what she’d like to talk about, but resist the urge to start a conversation with your buddy about last night’s game, your mutual work, or anything the women cannot directly relate and contribute to. Focus the conversation on getting to know your date. When in doubt, ask her about herself — her work, her hobbies, her shoes — whatever.
On the other hand, recognize that you’re spending the evening with another couple, so don’t completely zone out the rest of the conversation; use the second couple as a tool for taking "conversational breathers."
What NOT to Do
While it can be a good way to ease into dating, especially for those just getting back into the dating world, there are certain things that a guy can do on a double date to flush that date right down the toilet. Here’s a recap:
- Don’t forget about the women. Talk to your date, not your buddy. He should be focusing on his date.
- Focus on your date. Pay more attention to your date — by far–than to your buddy’s date, even if you’re friends. Talk to your date. Get to know her. When in doubt, just keep asking questions to keep her talking about herself. If, by some unfortunate chain of events, you find yourself more attracted to your buddy’s date than yours, keep it to yourself and try to have the best time with your date that you can. Otherwise, you run the risk of being rude to your date, your buddy and the buddy’s date whom you’re attracted to — destroying any chance of hooking up with her in the future.
- No inside jokes. Inside jokes and conversation tend to alienated women — leaving them hanging in the wind. If they have no idea what you are talking about, you can’t expect them to be a part of the conversation, and if they’re not a part of the conversation, chances are, they’re not having that great of a time.This article last updated on Thursday 14th October 2010