The Ten Big Dating Don'tsSubmitted by SharpMan Editorial Team on Thursday 14th October 2010
- What Should Not Do When Dating
One thing is for sure: dating isn’t for sissies.
Of course, it doesn’t have to be for neurosurgeons and rocket scientists, either. How much brain power does it take to understand that it’s a good idea to clear out the drive-through burger boxes before picking up your date? Oops.
Relax, SharpMen; we’ve done the polling for you. Read on for the SharpDating details on SharpWomen’s Ten Big Dating Don’ts:
Tip One: Don’t be too casual. Remember that women usually put a lot of effort and thought into looking good for a date. Arriving in sweats and announcing that you’ve just finished a kick-ass game of one-on-one does not make you seem like a stud. It just makes you smell like one.
Tip Two: Don’t be overly intimate. The opposite of being too casual, the overly intimate SharpMan will arrive on a first date with a gift, which strikes many women as a desperate attempt to establish a connection. And you thought you were being romantic!?! Better to save your dough for a post-date bouquet in the event it goes well. This tip could have possibly fit under the "Don’t act like you just got out of prison" tip below, but prisoners don’t usually show up for first dates with teddy bears (at least, not the prisoners I’ve dated).
Tip Three: Don’t leave your plans up to her. Arriving for a date and saying "So what do you want to do?" frustrates many women. Despite the fact that leaving the plans up to her is your way of being a flexible, accommodating guy, our poll of SharpWomen indicated that dates interpret comments like these as a sign that you didn’t bother to give the date any forethought. If you don’t know your date very well, make a couple of dinner reservations and allow her to choose. She’ll love that.
Tip Four: Don’t be "Father Knows Best." If she’s a big girl (i.e., legal), she probably knows what she likes and doesn’t like. So if she tells you she doesn’t care for raw fish, don’t suggest a sushi bar and insist that she "hasn’t had it like this before." It’s safer to play to your audience for the first few dates and save the reprogramming for when you know her better. Otherwise, the only thing she’s likely to change her mind about is you.
Tip Five: Don’t talk about your ex. This one seems like a no-brainer, but it was mentioned again and again in our poll. Talking perpetually about an ex — even negatively — will win no hearts. Similarly, taking your new date to one of your old haunts where everybody knows your name — and hers — is first-date death.
Tip Six: Don’t act like you just got out of prison. Women know sex is in the forefront of your mind. Just don’t let it show (no pun intended). Putting out the vibe that sex is the be-all, end-all of the date is likely to guarantee an early evening. So play along. Don’t stare at her chest all night... and it may surprise you to know that women can actually decode lines like "Let’s just stay in and make dinner here..."
Tip Seven: Don’t show off. It’s logical that you want your date to have the best possible impression of you, but many SharpMen may try to force the issue. Realize that you only need to tell her you got your MBA from Harvard once.
Tip Eight: Don’t push drinks on your date. Our poll of SharpWomen indicated that the only thing worse than drinking too much yourself, is insisting that your date have another round. For more information, see the "Don’t act like you just got out of prison" section above.
Tip Nine: Don’t split the bill. Sure you’re a sensitive, modern kind of guy. But if you’re looking to score points with your date, keep this sensitive side to yourself when it comes to splitting the check. Is it a double standard? Absolutely. But what in dating isn’t? So plan to pick up the check and choose your eatery to suit your budget. More women will crave you if you pick up the check at a moderately priced eatery than if you take them to an expensive restaurant where you share the bill. And if you are planning on picking up the check, don't stare at it in horror.
Tip Ten: Don’t say "I’ll give you a call" (unless you mean it). Many guys feel pressured to leave the evening on a good note, despite the fact that they know they’ll never dial their date’s digits again. Don’t bother. You think you’re being polite, but our poll of SharpWomen unanimously indicated that this has the opposite effect. If you say you’ll call, women take it literally and hang on thinking that there will be a follow-up date. When no call is forthcoming, they label you a "jerk." The exact opposite of what you were trying to do, right? Oddly, in this case, "absence" really does make the heart grow fonder.This article last updated on Saturday 9th July 2011